Here are most of the ingredients. Typically, I didn't pull one key element out of the refrigerator but we can have that as a surprise later.
NB that piece of chilli is frozen - they come in great big bags, especially if you buy them at the Indian grocers, and nobody can finish them that fast. I freeze them and then cut lumps off as required - they defrost enough to be easily to cut in about 2 minutes.
First task is avocado stoning, where you halve the beast, smack a knife into the stone (carefully avoiding cutting off own hand at wrist, or any wayward fingers) and then turn the knife like a clock hand to release the stone. This works like a dream, though I sometimes find getting the soapy stone off the knife is a bit of an adventure.
Using a butter knife, dice the avocado flesh and then remove it to a bowl with a spoon. Voila:
Juice your half lime and sprinkle over some salt. Leave to macerate for 20 minutes or so, while you mince 1 large clove of garlic and about an inch of red chilli.
(sneak tomato portrait)
Pour off any lime juice which hasn't been absorbed into the avocado and mash it a bit with a fork or a spoon, depending on how ripe your avocado was. Stir in the chilli, garlic and tomato. Add the coriander/cilantro just before you serve it, and taste to see if it needs more salt. With chips, chilli, quesadillas, tamales, bread...anything, really. It doesn't keep so you really should finish it. Yes. That's why you should finish it. Ahem.
Technically, 1 ordinary avocado could probably be said to yield 2 servings. This has never really been noticeable for me.
Making Guac, the Tom Way
Take one soft avocado. Cut around the stone and separate the halves. Smack a large knife into the stone (miss own arm and fingers) and give a slight turn to remove the stone. Use the butter knife to dice the flesh and then spoon it into a bowl. Add the juice of half a lime and around half a teaspoon of salt. Leave to macerate for around 20 minutes.
In the meantime, finely dice half a deseeded chilli and a clove of garlic. Remove the seeds from half a medium-large tomato and dice the flesh quite chunkily; a finely sliced spring onion is optional. Coarsely chop the leaves from 6 or so sprigs of coriander/cilantro.
Drain any excess lime juice from the avocado and mash it coarsely. Stir in everything else. Eat all at once, with gusto, chips or Mexican dishes.