Friday, 19 December 2008


This is not a feeling I particularly like. In the past, it was a BAD feeling. But it doesn't seem to be today. Today I feel limited by people and place. Not for any explicable reason, just want to get beyond the life I'm living at the moment. It's not quite the same as boredom. It's feeling that things are incomplete and that something's missing. For me, that often means something about relationships not being right. But I'm not in a relationship, and I actually don't really have the desire to be right now. A certain amount of getting over the mess of the last few months is involved there. I did feel similar in the summer though - but I can find a similar excuse for that, too. And I was worrying a lot about money at that time, too. It's odd to find myself almost feeling that my life is so full that I haven't actually got space in it for a relationship even if I wanted one. Maybe the restlessness is actually ABOUT having too many things going on and needing to find space? I certainly would like to have a bit more time to myself at present. My friends are ace, choir is great and busyness is good - I don't want to stop any of those things. I just need to organise myself a bit better, I guess. And have some dinner before choir.

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